Twelve or thirteen years ago, before I ever picked up a camera of my own, my roommate at the time (and still best friend) obliged an itch I had. I was neck deep in nicotine withdrawal and my head was not at all screwed on straight (is it really any better now?). As part of my recovery, I envisioned a series of portraits for David to shoot of me.
The long and short of it is, that of the series, only one good shot really came of it. It was me in clown makeup, a la Emmet Kelly. David was very proud of the shot (and deservedly so). In the end, he named it “Wallace” after my middle name. See the original here.
Shortly after I began taking photographs myself, I thought it’d be an interesting project to revisit Wallace by myself. The photograph above is the result.
For the longest time, I’ve had this photograph filed away and I’ve sort of been afraid of it. I think I was edging towards the depressive cycle that came to a head at the end of 2004. I don’t remember specifics of what was happening in my life, but I don’t think I was as disturbed as this image makes me seem.
Or maybe I was.
Whatever this photograph was born of, I think I’ve finally come to terms with it.